rozsa's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thoughts on Love So many random thoughts today... first, I seriously need a stay-at-home husband!! Or actually one that works part-time and can take care of the house, etc. for me. I was coming home yesterday and one of my neighbors was climbing out of a new overground pool..... it looked sooo nice! My first thought was "I want one!" - but then realized that I pay the kid down the street to mow the lawn because I never quite have time, there is no way I am going to be able to take care of a pool!*Sigh* Maybe one day, the hard part will be finding a guy who doesn't mind me being the one to go to work, while he stays home and does the housework, and maybe works part-time to cover whatever bills he brings into the marriage and for play money. That would surely be heaven..... of course I have to be nutso about him too! :) ****************** Among my friends and I there are a lot of relationships in varying stages and there has been a lot of talk lately of heartbreak and getting hurt. So many people are afraid of taking a chance and going after something they want because they are terrified of getting hurt, rejected, or getting their heartbroken. For me personally, I'd rather take that risk then to go my entire life wondering "what if" or finding out later that the other person felt the same way, just was afraid to take the chance as well. That happened to me my junior and senior years of highschool. I was crazy about this guy, we spent a ton of time together, had a lot of fun together and were the best of friends. He had a girlfriend in Texas though. He graduated at the end of my Junior year and went to school down there. When he came back to visit his parents, we went out a half dozen times, curled up together watching movies, and flirted unmercifully. But neither of us ever made a move. He transferred to a school in Maine where his parents retired to and we were writing back and forth, keeping in touch. I finally confessed how I felt about him and he wrote back telling me he had felt the same way. I was already enlisted in the Navy and our paths were just not meant to cross again. He is married with children now, and the last time I heard from him was happy. But I always wonder, "what if" one of those nights when we were sitting in his car talking if I had just leaned over and kissed him or told him how I felt. Where would my life be now? Or, at the least, how much more fun could we have had during the time he was home and what wonderful memories could have been made. I guess deep down I am not afraid of heartbreak, or more accurately I am more afraid of never knowing. So, please don't worry about me getting hurt, it is a chance I take gladly. Heartbreak won't kill me, never has before, I'll recover and find a new love. But regret will eat at your soul for a lifetime. 8:25 a.m. - 2004-07-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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